Huge recall on millions of corners, rocks, etc.

 

http://www.cpsc.gov/cpscpub/prerel/prhtml10/10359.html "Hazard: A child can strike, sit or fall on the protruding plastic ignition key resulting in serious injury, including genital bleeding."

 

It's a company's job to let us all know if their products are potentially harmful to our kids. And I feel super bad for the ten kids who suffered "genital bleeding" because of these Fisher-Price trikes. (Although, Barbie might be more potentially damaging than that ignition key. Anyone? I digress.)

The toddle world is so unsafe.

Are the odds that my kid mashes her junk against this ignition key any higher than the odds of her toddling face first into a brick wall? We may never know. And that's why I'm suggesting a recall of the following dangers to toddlers:

 

 

1) Corners.  

I'm not just talking about table corners here. I'm also recalling corners of buildings, street corners, even Corner Bakery.

 

 

 

2) Rocks. 

All rocks are potentially dangerous. I'm officially recalling all regular rocks, chalk rocks, Pop Rocks, Rock 'em Sock 'em robots, and rockstars (No, Hanna Montana doesn't count. She is neither a rock nor a star. Discuss). 

3) Kids.

Kids can seriously hurt my kid. Kids carry germs, they punch, they kick and they have the potential to be a really bad influence on my kid. So, all kids except my kid are officially recalled. 

Comments

[mom-101]

Please don't recall Corner Bakery.

The rest - fine.

[Mary]

Love it!

[Pam]

So true! It has actually gotten to the point that I have stopped looking at most product recalls, which is sad, because someday there might be a legitimate one.

[Julie @ The Mom Slant]

My kid hit his head on a corner at the doctor's office yesterday. No place is safe!

[caramama]

The other morning, my 1 yo tripped over... nothing! He fell on the hardwood floor and split his lip. Same thing happened a couple weeks ago, and he got a big bump on his forehead.

Can we add hardwood floors to the recall list? Maybe any hard surfaces?

[betch]

@caramama Hardwood floors are a problem, but I'd rather add "nothing" to the list. It seems like nothing is what my kid keeps tripping over, too. Nothing is a real danger to society.

[Issa]

Can we add door frames? I swear those dam things keep coming out to bite my children. ;)

[caramama]

@betch - HA! I totally agree! Let's recall nothing... wait a minute...

[Wendy]

Ha ha ha! This cracked me up. I love the idea of recalling other kids since someone gave my toddler stomach flu last week and then he passed it on to everyone else in the family.

[Christine]

I think I may have just snorted.
And I still can't subscribe. It's ok--your blog might not like me, but it can't stop me.

[betch]

@Issa Do door frames have the potential to cause genital bleeding? Maybe. You're right. They should be added.

@Wendy Thanks. And you should praise your toddler for sharing.

@Christine Please figure out The Internet. You need this information.

[Christine]

Oh trust me, The Internet and I go way back. Perhaps it's TI's cousin Angelo "The Fist" who's blocking me. We had a kerscuffle.

[essay writing]

How I wish this rock really going to make my baby rocks at all, just to fell asleep. LOL!