9 things that should be in every diaper bag

In today's world, you can never be too prepared. Especially when you've got a baby. To make sure you're super prepared on the road, here's a list of 9 things that should be in every baby's diaper bag:

 

 

1) 1,000 diapers.

Whether you’re Team Cloth or Team Disposable, you’d better pack exactly one thousand diapers in your bag if you plan to leave the house. Because you never know when Buttageddon might happen. People might laugh at you now, but when the proverbial S hits the F and you’re the only one who’s got literally thousands of wipes to clean up Poopzilla, they’ll be chanting your name. “Poop Lady! Poop Lady!”

 

   

2) Enough Goldfish for 80 play dates

A parent should never show up to a play date without Goldfish. Even if you’re all, “my child doesn’t eat Goldfish,” pack Goldfish in your diaper bag as a service to the rest of us when your kid starts Bogarting my kid’s snacks.

 

 
3)  Fun-size bow and arrow

You never know when you might run into some ruffians. Which is why you should always carry a travel-sized, fully functional bow and arrow. (In a pinch, poison darts would work.)

 

 

4) 10 changes of clothing

A couple daytime outfits, a couple night time outfits and a couple more things in case you find yourself needing to run from bad guys or the law. You never know. It happens on TV all the time. All. The. Time. Seriously. Watch The Mentalist.

 

5) Booze

Not for getting drunk--for sterilizing wounds, duh.

 

6) Hand sanitizer

Not sure if you know, but nature is gross. Be sure you have enough hand sanitizer to wash The Outside off before you walk back into your clean house.

 

7) 100 Pacifiers

Once a pacifier hits the ground, you gotta throw it away. Don’t be that mom who licks it and calls it clean. Everyone knows that mom is a total hippie. And don’t feel bad for the environment-- the paci’s BPA-free. 

8) Tripod

Don’t be caught without your camera when you’re on the go with your little one. Just because you’re in a public restroom doesn’t mean an adorable photo shoot can’t happen. Every moment is a Moment. And every minute of your child’s life should be documented and made into video montage for future generations to enjoy. 

 

 
9) Cash/ Fake IDs

You should always have a little cash on hand. Who knows, maybe you run into a guy selling breast milk on the side of the road, or maybe your baby wants some gas station tacos. And Fake IDs are always a good idea. Better to get them early.

You're welcome!

 

 

 

Comments

[cassie]

I'm confused, who needs purell if you've got everclear? The same, no?

[Sheree]

Just so you know, some grandmothers have been known to leave the house with EVERYTHING on this list except item #1. And no, you can't just wring out a disposable diaper.

[betch]

Cassie, I personally use the Everclear to kill the germs in my throat and Purell to kill hand germs. But, you could probably sub one for the other.

Sheree, awesome and eew. :)